OUR OBSESSiON WiTH WiNNiNG HAS MADE US LOSERS.

I’m talking about something way more ingrained into our everyday. Way more embedded in how we interact. And—honestly—way more dangerous to how we connect.

It’s this: We’ve turned almost every conversation into a competition.

Not in the fun, intellectually sparring kind of way.In the “I’m listening just long enough to figure out how to win” kind of way.

Every topic—politics, parenting, climate change, coffee orders—has become a debate stage. A pitch meeting. A personal TED Talk. A one-up contest masked as dialogue. And somewhere along the way, we stopped asking questions. We stopped being curious. We stopped letting ourselves not know.

Because apparently, to not know is to lose.To admit uncertainty is weak.To say “That’s interesting—I’ve never thought of it like that” is a concession.(And God forbid you concede anything.)

So, we armor up. We prep our clapbacks. We take pride in being "devil's advocates." We think our job in conversation is to persuade, defend, or prove.

What we don’t do enough of?Listen to understand.Speak to build.Lean into the messy middle where connection lives.

Unpopular Opinion🚨 You can’t win a conversation. There is no podium. No medals. No imaginary audience holding up scorecards.

At best, you can earn somethin

g from it—trust, clarity, insight. But none of those come with a trophy. 🏆

And maybe that's the point. Maybe the people we respect most aren’t the ones who win the room, but the ones who can hold it—with grace, curiosity, and just enough humility to not need to win at all.

So next time you find yourself in a “conversation” that’s secretly a showdown…Ask yourself: Am I here to connect, or just to conquer?

Only one of those builds anything that lasts.